Today I have felt BIG huge emotions.
Alice off to day care for the first day. THWACK!
Job Interview. Double THWACK!!
Not much sleep for the last year. Hoo, Wang, THWACK, Pow, Chomp!!!
In my earlier years I spent a lot of time avoiding or hiding emotions, particularly the big ones, and most especially the tricky ones I thought should not be aired in public. It was okay to feel happy, joyous and loving, but Angry, Sad, Grumpy, Jealous or a bit evil just wasn’t okay in Girl Guide, homogenous Be Nice world.
My pregnancy and late parenting experience has stripped all that baloney away. THWACK is my new yoga. THWACK is my new thing. THWACK hits me in the body and soul like a two ton truck on rubbish day.
But I embrace THWACK, observe it and find it quickly passes and moves on. Much better than nice, nice, baby, that morphs and grows inside, and explodes out when you are not expecting it in the form of illness, anger and in extreme cases depression.
THWACK on reflection is a powerful tool to make you feel things in your body in such a convincing way you can’t ignore it. Deal with it. Regroup. And move on.
If there was goddess of THWACK it would be Pele. Explosive, fiery and temperamental. Once her load has blown, the ash settles, transforms and becomes rich fertile soil, great for nurturing new growth.
24 hours or less and an acknowledged THWACK has left the building. No ugly elephant in the room. Just beautiful space for something else.
So today on this day of major THWACK, I acknowledge that it was BIG. And that I will survive THWACK and most other things that get thrown at me.
I look forward to seeing what grows out of Thwack for me next.