Sometimes we (most particularly me) can get all holier than though. I have developed a particular market niche in that. I always feel incredibly self-righteous when I have made the bread, eaten all the right foods, exercised and done the laundry. I can feel the smugness creeping across my face, so that even I want to slap it. It gets particularly so when I have an extended period of being ‘good’. It’s like I can’t accept myself or the world around me quite as well when its flawed or messy.
Radical self acceptance seems to come for me when I can let go of my own lofty ideals about what life ‘should’ look like and just allow the space in whatever state it is. Sometimes I just dress badly, eat a whole bag of Sweet chilli and sour cream chips, and have egg on toast for dinner… or maybe just the toast… with Nuttella. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
While doing ritual work with goddess Kwan Yin, I often feel a deep peace and contentment. The space around me at this time is usually gentle, quiet, lavender filled, zen and easy for me to be in. It is always a rude shock to my system that I can’t stay in this natural state of grace for as long as I please.
Life often intervenes to shake me out of my own reverence. It comes bowling in with tumbleweeds and a bone shaking clash. It is messy, unpredictable, and probably has head lice. It is loud, and mucusy and plays irritating songs that result in ear worms. It needs a costume made by 9am tomorrow, in yellow, and a box of cheezels and a 1.25 litre bottle of Pepsi Yuk or whatever….and it definitely won’t have nuts in it because Alicia gets an anaconda when she eats nuts.
So the challenge for me comes in excepting the state of grace that remains constant even in the chaos. It may not be about supping an infusion of sacred herbs, steeped in rain droplets from thea world heritage forest. It may just be about drinking Moet with your witchy sisters…the Nectar of Kwan Yin. And loving it!