Ms Wood, my very inspiring high school English Teacher in Year 12 suggested I could probably get an A in my final exams… but I would probably get a B, because I didn’t believe in myself enough. She was quite right, both about the grade and the self esteem.
No matter what condition we present with, asthma, anaemia, fatigue, shingles, there always seems to be an underlying cause that impacts on herbal or other type of treatments we might choose.
For years I have chased chronic conditions around my body, trying to attain a level of wellness that seems right for me. Invariably I have staved off dis-ease for bursts of time, but it periodically returns to remind me my work is not done. I just haven’t got it yet. So the conditions persevere and are patient while I work out what true wellness could look like for me.
Despite a positive external presentation, and what others describe as a cheery disposition and inspiring mindset, I am still plagued by self doubts, feelings of insufficiency and general feelings of lack of worth.
And that effects everything.
So I use herbal supports for my mind, body and spirit while seeking to understand the conditions that present and what they teach me.
As I write this I am reminded that to use my herbs ritually may work better for me at this time, and for that I need to allow time, space and quiet .
In the tale of Manawee (Clarissa Pinkola Estes , Women Who Run with the Wolves) the father is saying ” You can’t have understanding of women’s mysteries just for the asking. You must do work first. You must endure in pursuing this matter. You must divine yourself ever closer to the real truth of this female soul puzzle, this endeavor which is both a descent and a riddle.”
And so I pledge to seek truer understanding. I use my gentle herbs as reminders and supporters on my journey, but commit to being gracious and fair in my use of them. They, wondrous as they can be, are only part of the solution.
Green Blessings on your own journey to wholeness.